


put the lime in the coconut

by carpesoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Penis jokes, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 02:12:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5649871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carpesoo/pseuds/carpesoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>baekhyun discovers the magic of a good slap.</p>
            </blockquote>





	put the lime in the coconut

**Author's Note:**

> originally written for [](http://sncj-santa.livejournal.com/profile)[sncj_santa](http://sncj-santa.livejournal.com/). a big thank you to g and c for all their help. ily.

 

of all the available seats in the room, park chanyeol just had to choose the seat beside his. baekhyun groans internally as the man parks (cough) his pert butt down, and tries to ignore the heat radiating from chanyeol’s leg pressing against his own. and to make matters worse, chanyeol is mr. fidget. not knowing how to sit still, his constant restless shifting causes their thighs to rub together ~~, creating delicious friction~~.

taking a deep breath, baekhyun tries to quash the fire stirring in his loins. instead, he concentrates ~~hard~~ on the very super duper important meeting that’s currently taking place. kim junmyeon, the founder of ‘ _suho’s galaxy_ ’, stands behind the elevated podium, delivering some kind of speech about new company policy (or so baekhyun thinks. he’s not one hundred percent sure _what_ this conference is about).

byun baekhyun has been working at ‘ _suho’s galaxy_ ’ for the past two years. he’d never planned on staying at the tropical beach resort for more than a few months. he was only there to gain experience and quickly move on to brighter and greener pastures, or so he’d told himself. but alas, the job perks were too tempting to pass up and so at ‘ _suho’s galaxy_ ’ he remained. assigned to the crazy golf course, he spends most of his day laughing at kids getting hit by stray and/or ricocheting golf balls ~~, _and_ he’s able to ogle chanyeol’s half naked body as often as he pleases~~ ; what more could a guy ask for?

chanyeol and he have been dancing around each other with lingering stares and opportune touches for a while now, pretty much since the day they first met, when baekhyun joined the company. while neither one has confessed any explicit feelings of attraction, no one could deny the sexual chemistry between the two.

and although the attraction was instant, the sparks have been flying like the 4th of july as of late. baekhyun chalks it up to the fact that chanyeol has been hitting the gym recently, the results clearly visible in the bulging definition of his arms. baekhyun recalls when chanyeol had surfaced from the pool yesterday, the beads of water running down his toned chest and his glistening happy trail. it took all of baekhyun’s strength not to pounce on him, right there on the patio, straddling chanyeol between his plump thighs.

his mind begins to wander, fantasies of chanyeol’s strong arms lifting him up as he wraps his legs around the man’s _tight_ body. fingers running through his hair, kisses peppered down his neck, clothes ripped off and...

baekhyun feels chanyeol’s muscles flex against his, snapping him out of his reverie. disregarding the man’s blatant attempts to rile him up, baekhyun clears his throat and discreetly scoots his chair away from chanyeol, increasing the distance between them.

several minutes pass and baekhyun hears a gentle humming resonating in his ear. he sneaks a glance at chanyeol and sees that the man isn’t paying attention to him at all, he’s focused on junmyeon, like baekhyun should be. sitting up straight, baekhyun slowly turns his head to face the front. catching something in his peripheral vision, his gaze lands on chanyeol’s crotch. or rather, at the man’s hand that just so happens to be placed directly on top of his crotch.

shit.

this is not happening right now.

shit on a stick.

baekhyun closes his eyes and his teeth clamp down onto his lower lip. he can hear chanyeol chuckle softly in his ear, sending a tingle down his spine. he tenses his body and holds his breath, bracing for the strike to his arm. the blow lands and baekhyun suppresses the scream threatening to spill from his lips.

opening his eyes, the first thing he sees is chanyeol’s hand again, this time hovering over his own thigh, the man’s thumb and forefinger creating a circle. baekhyun curses under his breath, he’s fallen for it again.

“serves you right for looking at my dick in the first place,” chanyeol whispers into baekhyun’s ear, his warm breath making baekhyun shudder. pulling away, baekhyun can hear chanyeol cracking his knuckles, preparing for another punch.

“but you tricked me!” baekhyun hisses back, massaging his arm, still sore from the punch. he takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “get it over and done with,” he whispers, holding out his arm.

he clenches his fist as chanyeol’s large knuckles draw close, abruptly halting before coming into contact, much to baekhyun’s surprise. instead, chanyeol’s hand slips under his arm and grazes his leg. baekhyun’s eyes widen as he watches chanyeol’s fingers migrate to the inner part of his thigh, dangerously close to his—

“penis!” baekhyun accidentally cries out, capturing the attention of the employees sat around them. chanyeol withdraws his hand with lightning speed and turns to face the front, acting as if nothing happened. grabbing the hem of chanyeol’s shirt, baekhyun pulls the material with a sharp tug. “what the hell are you doing?!”

“oh, so you want to play, do you?” chanyeol asks with a wide toothy grin, his face inches away from baekhyun’s.

releasing his hold, baekhyun pushes chanyeol away and shakes his head. “no. there’s no playing. it’s neither the time nor the place to be playing one of your stupid games.”

he’s not going to join in on chanyeol’s childish antics. they’re in the middle of an ‘important’ meeting, for crying out loud. in saying this, baekhyun still isn’t too sure of the topic because let’s face it, he’s really not been paying attention, not in the slightest. but who could blame him? with the distractions of chanyeol’s thighs, and chanyeol’s crotch, and chanyeol’s hand near _his_ crotch. oh, what would it be like to have his face buried in chanyeol’s—

“penis!” baekhyun hears chanyeol suddenly cry out, a little louder than baekhyun had. an employee sitting in the row in front of them shakes her head and clucks her tongue in disapproval.

ignoring chanyeol’s thigh persistently nudging against his own, baekhyun’s eyes remain glued to the front of the room, listening to junmyeon’s words, or at least, feigning listening to junmyeon’s words. he will not be beguiled by chanyeol’s charms and risk being issued a formal reprimand for shouting about male genitalia in the middle of the company meeting. nope, it’s not happening, not even if—

baekhyun freezes still.

chanyeol has just thrown his hand in between baekhyun’s legs, a hair’s length shy of his loins. “what the hell?! remove your hand. now!” baekhyun demands, trying not to move a muscle, lest his private parts come into contact with the other’s fingers.

“you didn’t want to play with me so i thought i’d play with _you_ instead,” chanyeol says, caressing baekhyun’s inner thigh with his thumb.

baekhyun’s breath hitches, and he involuntarily clenches his butt cheeks. he pushes back in his chair, the legs scraping loudly against the floor. relentless, chanyeol’s wriggles his fingers, the sensation tickling baekhyun and awakening every nerve in his body. baekhyun prays silently that a certain appendage in particular doesn’t become aroused by chanyeol’s hand in his lap.

reaching the end of his tether, baekhyun finally concedes and shouts out, “penis!”

“did you say something, mr. byun?” junmyeon asks, addressing his little outburst. all eyes turn to baekhyun, who feels a hot flush creep across his face. he’s not sure if he should be grateful that the blood isn’t rushing to his nether regions. although, at least he could conceal a boner with his hands.

think fast.

“peanuts,” baekhyun blurts out the first similar sounding word that comes to head.

“peanuts?” junmyeon echoes with a cocked eyebrow. he drums his fingers on the podium as he awaits baekhyun’s elaboration.

baekhyun stands up and straightens his shirt to buy himself more time to come up with an acceptable response. “yes, i think we should introduce bowls of peanuts into the bar? something for the customers to snack on when they’re waiting to be served?”

“though i’m not opposed to suggestions on how to improve the customer experience, how about we wait for the appropriate time to discuss any ideas you’d like to propose? perhaps not when we’re all enjoying this riveting slideshow on the history of aloha shirts, hmm?”

“yes, of course,” baekhyun answers, bowing several times before sitting back down. junmyeon flashes him a grin before resuming ~~his lecture~~. baekhyun is still completely clueless as to the purpose of this conference and gives up entirely on trying to figure it out. he’ll just have to bribe kyungsoo afterwards to give him the condensed version.

“maybe i should introduce you to my nuts, give you something to snack on,” chanyeol mutters under his breath, but loud enough for baekhyun to discern.

“i’m so going to get you back!” baekhyun snarls, already plotting revenge in his head.

chanyeol winks at him, clearly not intimidated by his quote—threat—end quote. “i can’t wait. and neither can my… PENIS!”

 

 

 

“so how long have they got you on janitorial duty?” baekhyun asks, slamming his locker door shut. taking a seat on the bench, he waits for chanyeol to finish changing before they head off to the bar together. chanyeol’s idea, not his.

since the penis incident the week prior, their playful exchanges have been kicked up a notch. glances at each other less discreet and touches more brazen, baekhyun reckons his harmless crush has grown into actual _feelings_. not that he’d ever admit that to the other, of course.

and he’s pretty sure the other reciprocates the sentiment. in fact, just yesterday he’d witnessed chanyeol flat out rejecting a guest’s advances. baekhyun would like to think he was the reason behind this turn of events and that chanyeol was saving himself to ask baekhyun out on a date at some point.

and he _had_ , kind of. technically chanyeol did ask him out, it just wasn’t clear if it was a date or a casual hanging out of friends-who-would-very-much-like-to-see-each-other-naked-and-do-the-do. oh, how baekhyun would very much like to acquaint himself with _all_ of chanyeol.

on cue, as if he’d read baekhyun’s thoughts, chanyeol begins to unbutton his shirt to reveal his toned abs. “six weeks. without extra pay. can you believe it?” he releases a guttural growl, expressing his annoyance.

baekhyun looks away, blushing as chanyeol slips off his shirt. “at least you didn’t get fired,” he points out, trying to look on the bright side.

pulling a semi-smart button down shirt over his head (too lazy to actually unbutton his shirt), chanyeol proceeds to undress his lower half, pulling down his trousers. “it was worth it, though. did you see kyungsoo fall off his chair? man, that was great. who knew the little guy was so afraid of a little dick?”

baekhyun nods, keeping his eyes glued to the ground. why did he have to be wearing sweatpants today? any signs of excitement… well, let’s just say he’d be setting up camp, tent pitched and prepared for entry. “junmyeon’s feet. junmyeon’s feet. junmyeon’s feet.” he repeats it over and over like a mantra. it’s proven to be very effective at taming the beast before, this time being no exception.

“did you say something?” he hears chanyeol ask, along with the rustle of some kind of material. it sounds like chanyeol’s khaki shorts, the ones that show off his smooth skin and defined calf muscles.

still floor watching, baekhyun catches a slip of paper falling to the ground, most likely out of chanyeol’s pocket. squatting down to pick it up, he feels a sharp tug on his hair in the process. he tries to stand up, but feels strands of hair being yanked from its root. “oww!” wincing in pain, his hands reaching out to his head.

did he just get caught in chanyeol’s _zipper_?

“hey, there. watch those fingers,” chanyeol tells him as he swats baekhyun’s hand away to protect his manhood.

“am i stuck?!” baekhyun squawks, his face pressing into chanyeol’s crotch. he’s not completely certain, but he thinks he can detect movement in chanyeol’s pants.

baekhyun feels chanyeol’s thick fingers in his hair and a soft moan escapes from his lips. his mind wanders, imagining how chanyeol’s hands would feel roaming and exploring every inch of his body.

“shit, wait. let me just…” chanyeol tries to pull the zipper down but it only makes the problem worse and more of baekhyun’s hair gets entangled in between the metal teeth.

arms flailing, baekhyun attempts to free himself but he’s working blind, relying solely on his sense of touch. his hand accidentally grazes chanyeol’s member, quickly recoiling when he feels it twitch. though it comes as no surprise that chanyeol’s dick joins in on the fun, what with baekhyun’s head still attached to chanyeol’s loins.

“i gotta say, i’m liking the view,” chanyeol teases, thrusting his hip ever so slightly. he laughs, the vibrations tugging on baekhyun’s hair even harder.

growing more and more frustrated, baekhyun decides to take more drastic measures. if chanyeol isn’t able to pull down the fly, he’s going to have to remove himself by force. making a fist around his hair, right where it enters the zipper, he steadies himself. with his other hand, he slowly pushes chanyeol’s thigh back. he yells out in pain when he feels myriad hair strands yanked from his scalp, hair follicles most likely still attached. okay, so perhaps this isn’t the greatest of ideas.

“what are you doing? stay still, unless you want to end up with a bald patch!” chanyeol exclaims, pushing baekhyun’s face back into his crotch.

“well, can _you_ stop moving? your dick is practically slapping me in the face!”

“i know you’re enjoying this.”

“chanyeol, please. control yourself and your meat stick.”

“i can’t help it, every time you talk, you’re making things worse. it’s like a magic lamp, rub it and you set the genie free. but instead of wishes, you’re granted a whole load of pleasure.” chanyeol laughs as he slowly gyrates, much to baekhyun’s horror.

“this was not in the job description. i did not sign up for this.” a new voice appears.

baekhyun and chanyeol both freeze, all too aware of how this could be misconstrued by anyone walking in on them.

“kyungsoo? is that you? it’s not what it looks like!” baekhyun pleads his innocence, waving his hands frantically.

“he’s already gone, baekhyun-ah.”

“goddamn it!”

“well…” chanyeol begins, a playful tone in his voice. “seeing as you’re already down there, we might as well make the most of it? let’s see how good you really are with that pretty mouth of yours.”

baekhyun feels no remorse when he worms his hand up the cuff and crushes chanyeol’s nutsacks. no regrets whatsoever.

 

 

 

“when you said you wanted to putt some holes, this wasn’t exactly what i had in mind, byun baek.” chanyeol roars with laughter, and baekhyun can smell the alcohol on his breath. he catches chanyeol staring at his lips, a lustful haze in his eyes.

anticipating their first kiss, baekhyun quickly licks his lips and hopes they’re not too dry or chapped. chanyeol leans in, baekhyun’s heart starting to race as chanyeol’s face draws closer and closer. much to baekhyun’s surprise, chanyeol’s lips don’t move toward his own. instead, they shift north, accompanied by a wet tongue darting out and licking his nose.

yup, park chanyeol just _licked_ his nose.

“what the hell, chanyeol?!” baekhyun exclaims, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “that’s gross!”

“you thought i was gonna kiss you, didn’t you?”

“i so didn’t!” baekhyun denies, refusing to stroke the other’s ego. (and if chanyeol keeps at it, _nothing_ will be getting stroked tonight.)

chanyeol leans in again, a smug grin on his face. “did too. you know, you’re more than welcome to play with my balls, though they probably won’t be sinking into any holes tonight. though i wouldn’t mind driving my club into your—”

“—do you ever shut up?” baekhyun cuts chanyeol off and pushes him away, feeling embarrassed and slightly rejected because chanyeol didn’t kiss him. he cackles when chanyeol staggers and tumbles to the ground.

serves him right.

laying flat on his back, chanyeol gestures for baekhyun to join him, patting the artificial grass surface. “come lie down with me, it’s more comfortable than you’d think. if you can ignore the itchy poking things, that is.”

baekhyun shakes his head, standing his ground. “and what do you propose we do once i’m down there?”

chanyeol starts to bark, the sound echoing across the deserted golf course.

“be quiet! or we’re going to get caught!” baekhyun hisses, pulling the other to his feet. what did he get himself into? drunken after hours golf sounded fun at the time, but who knew park chanyeol would get so horny after a few rounds of malibu and coke chased by a few shots of sambuca.

not that baekhyun minds chanyeol’s alcohol-fuelled, rampant libido exactly, he just didn’t envision his first time with chanyeol to be out in the open, on a mini golf course no less. though the choice of venue is slightly poetic, if you think about it. it’s certainly no stranger to balls flying everywhere and things getting sunk into holes. perhaps if they make sure to do it somewhere obscured and hidden from plain view, it might not be so terrible?

on second thought: turf burn. consider that stricken from the night’s agenda.

“maybe i want to get caught,” chanyeol slurs, removing his jacket and swinging it above his head by one sleeve. he tosses it at baekhyun and proceeds to remove his shorts whilst singing “i'm too sexy for my shorts, too sexy for my shorts, so sexy it hurts,” accompanied by aptly timed hip thrusts.

as enthralling as chanyeol’s strip tease may be, baekhyun thinks it’s best to take things a little more private. “let’s move to the tiki hut,” baekhyun purrs seductively into chanyeol’s ear. he bites on his lower lip before he shoots chanyeol a bright smile and curls his fingers around the other’s wrist.

“i don’t think we’ll be able to fit inside there.”

“i’ve been in there before. it’s where i hide when i hear junmyeon looking for me, and there’s plenty of room to spare.”

“but i’m five inches—”

“you’re only five inches? i could’ve sworn you were bigger. _much_ bigger. you did slap me in the face with it, after all.” baekhyun waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

chanyeol stops dead in his tracks, shaking off baekhyun’s grip. “five inches _taller_ than you. of course i’m bigger. that’s it, i’m bringing receipts. where’s my phone? i need to show you my dick pics.” he pats down his boxers in search of the device.

“or… you could show me your _actual_ dick?”

“my, my. are you trying to seduce me, mr. byun?”

“let’s cut to the chase. i like you, and you like me. and i know for a fact that your dick likes me, too. so just get over here and fucking kiss me already, park chanyeol!”

not needing to be told twice, chanyeol crashes their lips together. baekhyun melts into the kiss, enjoying the softness of the other’s lips when— oh.

what the hell is chanyeol doing?!

this isn’t how baekhyun pictured their first kiss, he didn’t expect chanyeol to be so literal with ‘swapping saliva.’ it’s sloppy and chanyeol is way too enthusiastic with his tongue. he’s licking all around the inside of baekhyun’s mouth and along his teeth.

baekhyun thinks back to all the trashy romance novels he’d read as a curious but clueless teen. “ _tongues wrestling for dominance_ ” springs to mind, only baekhyun isn’t even moving his. and yet it’s as if chanyeol is fighting in a battle to the death, the wet muscle thrashing inside of baekhyun’s mouth.

the movement begins to wane, much to baekhyun’s relief. only to pick up again at thrice the pace, much to baekhyun’s horror. chanyeol activates what baekhyun can only describe as ‘washing machine mode’ with a spin speed of 1400 rpm. the tongue begins a rapid circular motion, changing direction every couple of seconds. does he not need to recharge after exerting that much energy? and using this data to extrapolate to another part of chanyeol’s anatomy, baekhyun hazards a prediction that their night will lead to one wild ride of jackhammer, duracell battery powered bunny sex.

and just when baekhyun thinks it can’t get any worse, the master of s ~~ed~~ uction begins to suck the air from baekhyun’s lungs. running out of oxygen, baekhyun pries the part human, part washing machine, part hoover from his face. he doubles over, gasping for air, taking huge gulps of oxygen with every inhale. his vision is blurred and he sees spots every time he blinks.

before he has a chance to recover, baekhyun hears footsteps closeby and his heart almost leaps out of his chest. he really cannot catch a break tonight. startled, he ushers a dazed chanyeol behind one of the shrubs and slaps his hand over the man’s mouth to prevent him from making noise and attracting unwanted attention.

he waits, holding his breath until he’s no longer able to hear the passerby. withdrawing his now soggy palm, he thanks his lucky stars that they didn’t get caught. baekhyun looks around to determine their exact location; they’re just off the twelfth hole range, the main employee’s office of the golf course only a few steps away.

“ _now_ can we move somewhere a little more private?” baekhyun asks, not wanting to risk it any further. a wash of relief floods his body when chanyeol nods in agreeance. they take their leave, chanyeol’s shed clothes not following them on their journey.

they giggle as they enter the building. the door slams shut and they shush each other before bursting into another fit of gleeful cackling.

“baekhyun, has anyone told you that you have an amazing butt? i don’t think i can take my hands off it.”

baekhyun’s eyebrows furrow into a frown; he can’t feel the other’s hand on any part of his body. “er, you’re not touching my butt.”

“oh? then whose butt am i touching?”

“chanyeol, are you serious? look at where your hands are!”

“oops. have i been groping my own butt this entire time?”

“how drunk are you, chanyeol? damn.”

“sssh, stop talking. if you like using your mouth so much, why don’t you make better use of those pretty lips and wrap them around my—”

“please don’t.” a quiet voice interrupts from the other side of the room.

“oh, kyungsoo. i didn’t see you there,” baekhyun says, clearing his throat. he swats chanyeol’s hands away as they seek his arse, causing the man to whimper like a kicked puppy.

“i’ve been here this whole time. maybe you should scan the room when you enter,” kyungsoo replies flatly. the man returns his attention back to the book in his hand. he turns the page with excessive force, clearly not pleased with his newly arrived company. but despite this blatant display of ‘ _get the fuck outta here_ ’, neither baekhyun nor chanyeol show any signs of leaving. after a minute passes, and more pages turn (one actually torn), kyungsoo sighs and looks up, glaring at the two of them. “please take your business elsewhere and for the love of god, chanyeol, _trousers_.”

“i think _you_ should leave, soosooboo. because it’s about to get real naked up in here, and just so you know, mr. park is so hard right now, i don’t want you to cry if he pokes you,” chanyeol warns, his hands already working the buttons of his shirt loose.

the door is slammed shut and kyungsoo is out of sight before baekhyun even has a chance to blink. relieved that they no longer have an audience, baekhyun starts to shed his own clothes, first unbuckling his belt. “now, where were we?”

“byun baekhyun, say hello to mr. park.”

 

 

 

“so… do you remember our first time?” chanyeol asks baekhyun as they share a lounge chair by the pool.

baekhyun can hear the sound of chanyeol’s quiet humming as he rests on the other’s chest. sighing contently, he responds, “how could i forget? you kept screaming ‘ _mr. park’s got a hole in one_ ’ the entire time.”

chanyeol chuckles warmly, sending a tingle down baekhyun’s spine. he stirs slightly, causing baekhyun to sit up. once chanyeol settles into a more comfortable position, baekhyun burrows into chanyeol, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

it’s past midnight, guests no longer permitted to enter the pool area. they’ve been staring at the moon and watching the night sky for the past hour, fingers intertwined and hearts beating in sync.

they lie in peace, neither uttering a word, basking in each other’s company when chanyeol breaks the silence. “so… have you ever done it in a pool? because i haven’t, and i think it could be an interesting experience.”

it’s definitely popped into baekhyun’s mind, once or twice ~~or every time he passes the pool multiples times a day on a daily basis~~. he’s not surprised by the question, but rather, that it took chanyeol a whole month before suggesting it. “let’s just make sure kyungsoo isn’t swimming in there first. he still won’t look at me, you know.”

“deal.” chanyeol smiles, lacing his fingers in between baekhyun’s and gently leading the way. just before they reach the end of the pool, chanyeol stops abruptly. turning around to face baekhyun, he releases his hold. “wait. before we go, i’ve got a present for you. close your eyes, no peeking.”

apprehensive, baekhyun cocks an eyebrow. “you’re not going to slap me in the face with your dick, are you?”

chanyeol huffs in indignation, his arms folded across his chest. “who do you take me for?”

narrowing his eyes at his boyfriend, baekhyun hesitates before finally conceding. he closes his eyes and clamps his lips together. he has a sneaking suspicion that chanyeol is going to insert some foreign object into his mouth, and knowing chanyeol, it’d be his penis. though, that wouldn’t exactly be a foreign object seeing as how baekhyun has gotten _very_ familiar with—

“okay, you can look now.”

baekhyun complies, slowly opening his eyes. he blinks several times, not sure if he’s hallucinating or not. “you put a bow on your dick?” baekhyun stands frozen, unsure of how to react to the tall man with the bright pink ribbon wrapped around his penis.

chanyeol beams at him with confidence, hands on his hips and trousers pooled around his ankles. baekhyun shakes his head, hoping to convey disapproval, but the corners of his lips pull upwards into a smile, the muscles in his face betraying him.

chanyeol shuffles toward him, snaking his long arms around baekhyun’s waist, pulling him into a tight embrace. “no, i put a bow on _mr. park_. happy monthiversary, baby.”

**Author's Note:**

> ❥ _[carpesoo.flavors.me](http://carpesoo.flavors.me/)_


End file.
